Nabin Rijal's articles in English

The Busyness Syndrome

Published on The Kathmandu Post on November 2, 2006

-by Nabin Rijal 

Kathmandu, Nepal 

Today I was busy a couple of hours writing this article. I always want to keep myself busy one way or the other because I believe to "rest is to rust". Someone has said that to keep quarrelling is far better than to stay idle. For many, busyness means the money they can earn, the prestige they can gather and the name they can acquire.

Oft-times when I phone my wife on her mobile, either her mobile is switched-off because of her extreme busyness or I get a message from the telecom centre - "all the lines are busy now, please try later". Though I am a little frenzied I take pride on my better half's busyness because she has high prospects of becoming a woman of substance some day.

If you just stay at home loitering round all the while, you will be tagged a black sheep, a couch potato or a ne'er-do-well. Except for hatching eggs, nothing is done by sitting still. To keep on rolling for a good purpose is healthy and profitable. There is a saying in English " A rolling stone gathers no moss." In fact, idleness is a principal cause of frustration and unhappiness.

George Bernard Shaw states that the secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to think about whether you are happy or not. So, do not bother to think about it; get busy. It is the cheapest and one of the best kinds of medicine available in this earth. The worried person must lose himself in action. No man has the right to live in idleness and decrease his longevity on purpose.

The ship anchored in the harbor rots faster than the ship crossing the ocean. The still pond of water stagnates more rapidly than a running stream. Our unused minds are subject to decay much more rapidly than those in use. The unused cells in our brain deteriorate much faster than those which are continuously exercised. Hence, to remain young and happy, we must remain busy.

Some people like to be workaholic in such an astounding manner that it seems for them there is no tomorrow. They enjoy losing themselves in elbow-shoving jobs. They are busy for genuine reasons. There are some people in our society who are never busy but pretend to be so. These must understand that the busyness of honeybees is highly praised but that of the mosquitoes is disregarded. Some people don't want to make many friends and relatives not because they are not friendly, but they don't have time to give to them. If you don't have time, better don't long for any relationships because relationships demand time. Busyness is not only rewarding but also regrettable when in excess.

Sometimes your hyper-busyness may be a real problem for others. Business has caused break-ups in many swinging relations. Many have crashed on the land of divorce because of their partner's hectic work-schedules and many children have become orphans because their parents have no time for them. So, don't get so busy that you will suffer from identity crisis. Try to keep balance between your business and busyness and this will ensure your success.

 Gold Quest 

- by Nabin Rijal

There is a saying goes ‘all that glitters is not gold’. But my better half has proved it wrong. She has kept these basics in her mind to make sure that what glitters on her is always gold. My wife is an extremist when it comes to gold. She has an amazing knack of wearing gold ornaments and many other gold stuffs. Gold gets gleam in her eyes because her penchant for gold is unlimited. Whether it’s clothes, accessories, cellphones, watches, or makeup items she opts for only gold or golden. The role of gold in her life goes much deeper, touching her emotions and speaking to her in profound ways that make it inseparable from her individual psyche. For her no other substance is imbued with greater emotional sentiment than gold. Gold is not just a commodity; it really means a lot more to her. So one way or the other she loves to incorporate it into her look and lifestyle. It is for sure that gold is lifelong companion of my spouse. I have no idea how this heavy metal passion en-rooted her mind that she started loving this yellow stuff quite so much.

Every individual may not believe in being loaded with jewels on their person but even if its minimal gold is de rigueur for most and with respect to passion of gold my wife is the real McCoy. This is why I am sure my better half’s endearment for everything gold or golden could be a good inspiration to a whole host of so-in-love-with-gold women.

My gift anything having to do with gold can take her face from drab to glam in a couple of seconds. This is why sometimes I wish I could reward with Midas touch to her every golden desire. To my lady wife there is nothing lovelier than having the gleam of gold somewhere on her person. Gold is her first priority may or may not be after me. This is why when any special occasion approaches her intensive quest for buying articles made up of the king of the metal soars high. She has made it her golden rule that every time she goes to market a gold article is a must-buy entity. She is always anxiously looking for festivals and special occasions to look more golden and glittery.

They say ‘live life king size’ but for her it seems ‘live life embedded with the king of the metal’. Her golden-hued makeup, her dyed golden hair, her gold coated nails all reveal her unbounded-endless quest for wearing gold. Sometimes when I realize her limit of passion for gold is going to be crossed, I suggest her not to waste time running after gold and remind her that an inch of gold can’t buy an inch of time. But she doesn't like to admire my words as a golden principle.

Now I think I have no other alternative but to say her that I am waiting for the golden jubilee of our marriage to celebrate so that I would get a golden opportunity to shower her with galore of gold articles regardless of her thirst for gold is unquenchable. By then I will have turned pretty old but I am sure that my wife would still be loving me because she knows very well that old is gold.

 Fast Culture

- by Nabin Rijal

Life of the people of the first world seems to be very fast as compared to the people of the second and third worlds. Rapidity is their culture and they think this is how they are making progress. Fast food, fast track music, fast dance, fast movies, etc. are their preferences. Not only the first world, the entire world these days is attracted towards speedy life with the consciousness of the fact that time and tide wait for none.

But in the fit of adopting swiftness in our life we have forgotten to give our second thought upon how dangerous and unreliable sometimes this swiftness can be.

Be cautious! fast is not always pleasing and practical. Many companies and business organizations promising you to give fast benefits are often frauds. It is said there is no shortcut to success and at most instances it is true. Earning white money is not that fast how fast they are persuading you for their own rapid progress. At many occasions rapidity is unreliable. Those who want to earn fast money have often taken up some illegal or unethical paths.

Japanese say Fast Ripe, Fast Rotten. I have noticed written near the zebra crossings ‘If you are slow, you can surely reach but if you try to be fast, it can’t be said’.

In the context of making love relationships these days’ people seem to be super-duper fast. In the age of hotmail, in a minute people fall in love with somebody, in the next minute they start planning about their future and in another next minute they crash on the formative relationship. Relationships can’t be shaped overnights. Rome was not built in a day. Relationship demands time to stand well on the ground of faith; it takes time to know people and gain faith. In fast culture how fast there is chance to fall in love with somebody there is equally fast chance to crash in break-up or divorce as well.

I have heard many guys and girls attributing to their friends “You are really very fast”. Guys and girls these days put love or marriage proposals forgetting to apply thoughtful brakes to their fast-consequence-seeking attitude. As a result they bang their relationship irreparably and bare a colossal bitterness in life. It is mostly true that fast ones are often flirt, fraud or false. No man in a very hurry is quite civilized.

Think of fast foods they are fast to serve but by the same token they are inviting us fast to leave this earth as well. It is said ‘Hurry doesn't make a good curry’. All over the world the reality of fast life, fast food and fast death is gaining rapid momentum under our own choice.

Someone has nicely said, " I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best." This is the reality of going fast. Be aware to put a little brake where it needs because slow and steady wins the race; the story of hare and the tortoise is nice example of such a case. 

Being in love 

- by Nabin Rijal

Being in love is the most serene satisfaction in your life. It is really an enigmatic juncture. When you are with your most adored person on earth, everything around you is going hazy and the only thing that is in focus of your eyes and mind is you and your beloved. It is then when you realize that you have met someone who can give the expected mileage to your life. And this amazing feeling lingering across your heart is making you benignly maniac-depressive. As a result you feel like laughing and crying at the same time-- thinking how lucky you are to have found your right one and really scared and bewildered with the anxiety of being dispossessed of this divine gift.

When you are in love, various kinds of roller coasters of emotions are racing across your mind-- some with the sense of elation, some with suspicion, some with envy and so on. Yet you are being able to concentrate your mind at the core issue because love is the greatest devotion. Love is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient because it is another name of god. Thus love really makes us mentally brilliant and emotionally rich.

Being in love, even monarch of bachelors who you thought would never find his destiny ever in his life suddenly changes for the better and surprises everyone by announcing his wedding plans with a girl half his size but twice as smart that he just met last year. Love is consistent, but the lover's behaviours prediction. There may not have been as many betrayals as in love, yet it is to be believed because it is the essence of life and the only thing that fits in everybody's life. If music is the universal language, love is the universal feeling. When you are allured by the charm of love, your eyes find all fashions tarnishing and becoming secondary in front of love.

People in love are awfully sweet like eager puppies dying to be petted. Exuding their cherubic innocence and benevolence of love they look mind-blowingly cute. Love is really the most fabulous art always being imparted subtly from one heart to another heart. And the best place to hone up this art is your own heart. Love is the finest of all fine arts and the greatest of all technologies. Didn't you believe? History witnesses what people have not done in love! Lovers can attempt anything for their love. They are ready to deal with great many unimagined circumstances and ordeals for the sake of attaining their most cherished goal. This is why someone has cited, "He who does not come to the temple gate, he who loves goes on a pilgrimage". Many have become great poets, writers, and sculptors in the fit of love. Piles of books and miles of journeys can't teach what love can teach on the spur of the moment. Just a golden touch of love can sometimes turn people from tragic to magic situation. What else can make people so much lunatic and fanatic, valiant and brilliant other than love? So, if we can make somebody's life feel complete just by kisses of eyes, and curls of smiles, why not try to be liberal?

 There is a lot in a name

 -  by Nabin Rijal

British postage stamps don't carry the name of the country because they were the first in the world in widespread use hence the necessity of identifying the country's name was not felt. Shakespeare has said in Romeo and Juliet "What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". But I would say that there is a lot in a name and it is an indispensable identity required to anything in the world. Be it famous or notorious, good or bad anybody or anything is recognized by name.  It is so crucial that there is not even a single thing that doesn't have name. Stop thinking! You won't be able to find any such entity that doesn't hold name. When you say that this particular thing doesn't have name, you happen to utter its name automatically. One of the pleasant things everyone loves to hear from other's mouth is your name spoken out in a sweet and sensuous way. People find offensive when their name is mispronounced or pronounced in a distorted way because a sense of pride is attached to their name. Our name is perhaps the shortest all-time mood music for us.

Name leaves a sort of separate impression in our mind. If Mr. X is extremely notorious, whenever we hear of someone else having name Mr. X, we happen to imagine him also as the same sort of person and similar kind of impression we have about an extremely good person's name as well. Name sometimes casts aspersions on us and sometimes it gives us false reputations too.  We feel offensive when we are called names such as pig, donkey, ass etc. Although it is not by the name we have got but by the deeds we have done we become famous or notorious. 

I would like to mention my own name as an example. When people unknown to me come to know that my name is Nabin, they jest asking me if my last name is Bhattarai because Nabin K. Bhattarai is one of the names that needs no introduction among we Nepalese. And when I say, "I am not Bhattarai I am Rijal", yet people don't leave me without asking if I am a kin of DR. Bhola Rijal, Kali Prasad Rijal, Nagendra Prasad Rijal or any such high-profiled Rijal's. In this fashion, in our country lucky are those whose names are like Sugam, Prakash, Nalina, Sangina, Kunti and so on. But it's not for sure that such names being quite beautiful, significant and easy on the ear. It's just because such names have got justice either due to happenstance or due to the name holder's immense efforts towards keeping their name.  The names like Ram Krishna, Narayan Gopal, Durga Nath etc. were thought to be quite oldie and obsolete, but when the name got into limelight because of the name holder's sincere and golden deeds they got a new height. My own mother's name Madhuri was thought to be an unheard, unconventional and, unfashionable name in the past. Even I myself felt awkward to utter my mom's name when I was asked. But when a celebrity having this name came into limelight, I started taking pride and comfort at stating that my mom's name is also Madhuri. Thereafter I realized that no name is a bad name. A name may get fame or shame in the due course of time frame.

Our parents could give any name to us and cheerfully or bashfully we had to admit it. However, it is up to the parents to leave a different impression on people's minds by giving a queer name of their choice to their children if they desire because I still remember the boy having name Bruce Lee who was my class fellow when I was in the high school. Everybody went in stitches when his name was uttered in the assembly. In fact, it was a hilarious name and on the top of that he was such an  unpugnacious boy quite unlike that of the character of Bruce Lee. He was neither confrontational nor so strong enough to fight with anybody, yet his name was Bruce Lee because it was his parents’ picking.

It is still green in my mind we were on the top of glory when our film Caravan was nominated for Oscar award. The film could not bag the award but at least could get in to nomination and that really boosted our morale. Geniuses around the globe are desperately waiting for entering their name in the Guinness Book of World Record. In spite of the saying "Neither name nor clue will be left after death" some people really want to die for the sake of their name to be known to the world.

Fortune Factor

- by Nabin Rijal

Do you believe in luck? Or you may say I believe in myself and believe in drawing the star lines on my own. So was I when I was a child. My friends used to question me the same. And my answer would always be pessimistic. At that time very different sorts of zeal and gusto reigned over my mind that made me shout a stern no.

I was wrapped with an idea that luck is second name of blame as well as another name of pseudo sympathy or counterfeit containment. Whenever we get unsuccessful due to whatsoever reason our blame often goes to luck and the best way to make us satisfied is to believe in the fact that it was not in our destiny.

So, I didn’t want to make a lottery of my life trusting all things to chance. I thought depending upon our luck is just like bending over to hide our heads in the sand of unreality like an ostrich does.

Emerson’s saying ‘Shallow men believe in luck. Strongmen believe in cause and effect’ boosted up my morale regarding not to believe the fortune factor. Luck for me was just a myth. I knew a thousand probabilities do not make a truth.

Coming at this age my idea as to luck has gone topsy-turvy. I have come to realize that luck is something that must favour or we will remain unsuccessful. How so much one may pretend not to believe in luck the harsh reality is that fatalistic factor is hidden somewhere inside every individual’s psyche.

The unvarnished truth is that from sportsmen to businessmen, from gamblers to ramblers, from rags to riches, all believe in luck one way or the other. There might not be even a single person on earth who hasn’t conceded luck at some point of time. The degree of faith or instance may differ, but the faith of luck is somewhere inside our intuitive mind compelling us to believe in it like it or not.

Numerous examples have convinced me that a fair bit of luck is essential to become successful in life. I have read the incident of a man being alive even after throwing down from the Niagara Falls putting him inside a barrel. But later he dies getting slipped over a banana skin. Not many months past, the Crocodile Hunter Steve, a lion-hearted man, who could dare to catch almost any kinds of living beings on earth especially reptiles, died bit by a small normal snake. 

The grim reality is such a significant factor that we all are bound to believe is quite vague. Sometimes nobody can say the success or failure is really due to luck or some other factor. In addition to it, some take the same fad as sign of good luck while the other as bad luck. In some western countries, an owl is regarded for its wisdom whereas in most of the Asian, the sight of an owl is said to be an ill omen.

There is a saying that luck favours every individual at some corner of life. Unlike in the past these days we have good many opportunities to rove ourselves lucky. Who knows our luck may emerge out of noodle's wrapper or cold-drink’s bottle? So, keep trying for it remembering the citation even a dog has his day. Best of luck!

Queer Satisfaction

       - by Nabin Rijal

The word satisfaction is really amazing and difficult to understand. What gives you satisfaction may not give to others and vice versa. Some people feel satisfaction in doling out their assets whereas others feel satisfaction in looting others'. It is said we have to do only the things that give us inner satisfaction because the best meaning of a successful life is life that is full of happiness and satisfaction. I have seen very many devotees going to temples not only to pay homage to the deities but also to feed to monkeys, pigeons, cows and the like animals who are being survived on such people's quest for satisfaction.

Regarding personal satisfaction of different individuals I remember my father. He has a bizarre habit. He is a businessman and he has to collect money from different people everyday. At the end of the day he has to count all the money collected during the day. Interestingly what my father does is before counting the money he picks up and segregates all the shabby and torn notes and puts cellotape on to repair them all. My family members including myself in the beginning went hysterical about his eccentric habit and made fun of him saying that The Nepal Rastra Bank won’t reward him for that, but he always says that it gives him inner satisfaction. According to him whenever he gets shabby and torn notes from his customers, he feels awkward and unpleasant so he feels like repairing them with the intention that others won't have the same kind of mood seeing the notes. Moreover, he tries to convince us saying that the earth is round so what goes round comes round. By his answer my eyes are open now because I have seen many people mishandling brand new notes, scrabbling and scribing unnecessary things on them, even ruffling them with utter negligence and making them shabby soon. Even the bank cashiers and the like highly responsible personnel have no care for notes. Look at the notes of USA!!! It’s the cleanest of all notes used in the world. Then you wouldn’t wonder why the country is so developed.

At many occasions, I have seen them jotting down something on notes for their convenience. People seem to have no upstairs concerning to the use of public and national properties. And this reminds me Robert Chamber’s saying “We are poor because we are poor”. Many people enjoy tearing seats and rubbing filths in the curtains, moping shoes on squeaky-clean carpets, pasting chewing gums on the seats of the vehicles and public halls and peeing against the walls of many places when they find something that is not theirs. It’s because they have got the sense that it's others’. Many people have habit of handling things in slipshod fashion when they know that those are others'. As long as we have others'-and-won separating mentality we can never come out of our mental poverty as a result our country will never be rich and developed. And what we should be able to bear in mind is that mental poverty is more severe than economic poverty.

Now I have come to realize that what my father does each day might seem to be a queer act for many but truly saying it is his something tiny but very remarkable contribution for his country. Such small contributions made earnestly for the sake of our country from every individual can bring about a sea change difference in future. We should not forget the citation “many a little makes a mickle”. We can develop our country only when we can cultivate good habits, some common sense and a wee bit of civic sense within us. We should widen our mental platform on our own efforts before we widen our demands and desires expecting our nation to fulfil us for our comfort and satisfaction.

Popping the question

      - by Nabin Rijal

Love is an essence of life. I think everybody believes in it except for those who have been through utter tragedy in it. As a person, I believe in love, even love at first sight for I am very romantic. I think to be in love is really a blessing. Like any other guys I too have good feeling when I talk to beautiful and gorgeous girls. It’s a natural phenomenon and I am also no exception. 

Hardly anybody would have come across as many girls as I have come across in my life so far, no matter just as friends having a tinge of crush. Honestly speaking, I have got infatuations for great many girls. But the problem is that I can never dare to air my feelings and pop the question to anyone. To propose someone whom my heart goes for is really a hard nut to crack for me. My friends always tease me telling that there is no use of studies for me if I can’t dare to face the real exam. I know they are true. What I know very well is that I am a true lover. But why do I feel so hard to take out the truth which is on the tip of my tongue yet very far from the reality of the awareness of my most cherished person? I have never found the answer to this question. I have missed many girls of my choice just because of being lackadaisical about a bit of guts. Time and tides wait for none thus so many girls I had infatuation for are enjoying their romantic life with their gutsy boyfriends making me unintentionally jealous. 

As a friend I can easily intermingle with opposite gender and can have an awful lot of talks, share my ideas and care their feelings, but when it comes the bottom line, I can't break the ice. Popping the question is really a very big deal for me. Even thinking about it makes me feel having butterflies in the stomach and I become as confused as a newly born baby.

I had almost given up the idea of purposing the girl of my choice. What I wanted now was the girl of my choice to purpose me. Perhaps it would be the best prospect for a timid guy like me. After lots of perseverance and rehearsals one fine morning I thought of purposing a girl of my choice on the phone. As soon as I pressed her number the tempo of my heart started beating far above the ground. My knees started knocking and my liver was about to come out. She picked up the phone and I was dumbfounded. My tongue was slurred, and the throat was dry and I was feeling as if I had sucked cyanide. I was blank and couldn't utter the words that I had heard thousands of times from many mouths. For the first time I felt that perhaps I was the most chicken-hearted person in this world. She got terribly surprised why I was unable to talk to her. I put the phone down and went flat on the sofa and remembered the old saying  ‘an ass can swim in seven different ways but when he sees water he forgets them all’.  My condition was pretty much like that of the proverbial ass. I was trying to say the very three magical words but of no avail. Whenever I am driven by the feeling of love, romantic words automatically spring out from my mind and come up to my tongue like a swarm of butterflies, but what about my way for words when the crunch time comes? 

Alas! I guess popping the question is not my privilege.